Today was a packed day of emotional trials of this world. Yesterday was almost just as hard. The Lord has been showing me the emptiness of life without Him and how the human race is hanging on by a thread as people strive to make it through this world alone.
Yesterday I met a friend, at the Hospital who usually is beaming with joy but today looked downcast. When I asked him why he was there he said he had to pay fees for the birth of his son. I thought it would be a happy occasion despite the fees. But then his face became serious and he said that the baby had died. I asked how it happened and he said that it was the fault of the hospital, that the students who are training were unable to take proper care of the delivery and the care afterward. My heart broke for my friend and turned with righteous anger at the irresponsibility of the staff at the hospital. I walked with him as he went to pay the bill and talked about what had went wrong. I forced back tears as I listened and watched his face become sadder with every word. He had lost his baby boy, his first born, his only child. Because of human error and weakness. But through all of this pain he told me that he was forgiving the people and the hospital. He said that Jesus tells us to forgive, we have been forgiven much and must forgive others. This shows God’s grace working in him and his wife. I visited them today at their home and could see the wife in pain from the 3day long labor. The only difference that made her pain more unbearable is because she had no baby to hold, no reward for her hard work, just the pain and an empty feeling. They both showed such strength and hope for the future. Fortune (also their baby’s name) would come their way once again.
Later that day I went to see one of my good friends and her daughter in the next town. I love going over there and sitting and talking in Kiswahili and playing with the 4 year old daughter. Whenever I come she runs to me and hugs me tight. She never wants me to leave and always asks her mom for me. I love her so much. Today while I was waiting for the little girl to come home from school I sat with my friends neighbor’s children. There was 2 small children a older boy around 10 and a small baby lying on the ground. My friend told me that the mother was HIV positive and so was the baby. My friend talked about them with a bit of scorn. As I held the little baby and held her hand I wondered at the life this baby would grow up to have and if she would make it to 2yrs. The baby a little malnourished dressed in a yellow sweater with a dirty, soiled blanket around her lower body smiled as I talked baby talk to her. She liked to reach for my earrings and pull my pony tail of hair. Once again the weakness of humanity and the sinfulness of humanity strikes again. Once again a little baby suffers. Once again God’s heart is broken. This was my day.
