Tonight while I was running...yes it's the same night that I listened to that song, it's been a really good day. I was on my last round and I suddenly stopped at the end of my driveway...
I looked to my left and I looked to my right, both were roads leading to different destinations. Then I looked forward where my house sat at the end of my long driveway illuminated by the night light.
I considered...the straight? Left? Right? Which way to go?
Either way I knew I was going to have to run to move down that road and that it'd be a long and hard last few steps since I'd already come gone so far.
My thoughts raced through my head as I pondered...connecting my present life and the choices I make and are going to be making into this dark summer nights run.
On my left: "Abby this is your life, this is your home...your friends (hypothetically speaking) are here. Join them in living a fulfilled life (in the worlds eyes) marriage or boyfriend, education, work, money, beauty. Stay here don't go far away...you can be happy being normal. It's your home you are comfortable here you know what's ahead of you. No surprises, no fear of the unknown, no immediate failure. Just stay..be content here."
On my Right: "Abby this represents your family your home. If you go far away, if you follow Christ, if you let Him lead you there's no turning back. You'll have to give them up. You're going to miss out on your nieces and nephews lives..your brothers marriage your sisters pregnancies and the birth of new little ones. How can you do it? How can you leave all that you love for something that is unseen? You must be crazy! You can't do it! Don't you love them? You're going to miss it all...everything you've known will never be the same if you follow the path God is leading you down. Run this way Abby! At this point I teared up...I was facing the reality even though it was all in my head that I would miss my family and their future if I recklessly clung to the Cross. But then...
I looked Straight: In front of me I saw a light and half of my house. I could see the end and it was light... I felt/heard the Lord say, "Will you chose Me? Abby come away with me. I knew that if I started down this road it would hurt. Going to Kenya is just the beginning, I feel of my journey to leaning on my Beloved. It's just the start. This road doesn't seem to be the smartest but Abby I'm here with you. I know it hurts to leave your family and friends behind but oh my child it's worth the prize and reward in the end...follow me."
I started to run...faster and faster down the road hearing 'it's going to be hard really hard but hold onto me, hold on to me Abby don't let go..run run run...hold onto me and you will reach your destination. It's going to hurt but I am with you...RUN!
So I ran..closer to the light and my home...when I reached the end I felt peace and joy because I knew I had chosen the right path.
---It's weird how this all happened, it was mostly in my head and yet it wasn't. I've constantly been praying for Kenya and my teammates and have recently realized the cost of choosing a life of a Missionary. God is birthing in me deeper love for Him along the way. I'm seeing that God doesn't need me to go to Africa..He wants me to go to Africa for Him. For me to join in what He's doing there. Understand that He's going to do it whether or not I go, He isn't dependent on us weak humans; But He chooses to invite us to share in his work in the nations so that we might share in his suffering and also share in his glory. Praise God.
So even though the road ahead is dark and uncharted, I see a light at the end because Christ is ' the light of my salvation and the stronghold of my life...whom shall I fear, what can men do to me!' (PSALM 27:1, paraphrased)
I will be 'Strong and Courageous..I will not dismay because the Lord my God is with me WHEREVER I go'..even the desert of Kenya, Africa. (Joshua 1:9, Paraphrased)
I looked to my left and I looked to my right, both were roads leading to different destinations. Then I looked forward where my house sat at the end of my long driveway illuminated by the night light.
I considered...the straight? Left? Right? Which way to go?
Either way I knew I was going to have to run to move down that road and that it'd be a long and hard last few steps since I'd already come gone so far.
My thoughts raced through my head as I pondered...connecting my present life and the choices I make and are going to be making into this dark summer nights run.
On my left: "Abby this is your life, this is your home...your friends (hypothetically speaking) are here. Join them in living a fulfilled life (in the worlds eyes) marriage or boyfriend, education, work, money, beauty. Stay here don't go far away...you can be happy being normal. It's your home you are comfortable here you know what's ahead of you. No surprises, no fear of the unknown, no immediate failure. Just stay..be content here."
On my Right: "Abby this represents your family your home. If you go far away, if you follow Christ, if you let Him lead you there's no turning back. You'll have to give them up. You're going to miss out on your nieces and nephews lives..your brothers marriage your sisters pregnancies and the birth of new little ones. How can you do it? How can you leave all that you love for something that is unseen? You must be crazy! You can't do it! Don't you love them? You're going to miss it all...everything you've known will never be the same if you follow the path God is leading you down. Run this way Abby! At this point I teared up...I was facing the reality even though it was all in my head that I would miss my family and their future if I recklessly clung to the Cross. But then...
I looked Straight: In front of me I saw a light and half of my house. I could see the end and it was light... I felt/heard the Lord say, "Will you chose Me? Abby come away with me. I knew that if I started down this road it would hurt. Going to Kenya is just the beginning, I feel of my journey to leaning on my Beloved. It's just the start. This road doesn't seem to be the smartest but Abby I'm here with you. I know it hurts to leave your family and friends behind but oh my child it's worth the prize and reward in the end...follow me."
I started to run...faster and faster down the road hearing 'it's going to be hard really hard but hold onto me, hold on to me Abby don't let go..run run run...hold onto me and you will reach your destination. It's going to hurt but I am with you...RUN!
So I ran..closer to the light and my home...when I reached the end I felt peace and joy because I knew I had chosen the right path.
---It's weird how this all happened, it was mostly in my head and yet it wasn't. I've constantly been praying for Kenya and my teammates and have recently realized the cost of choosing a life of a Missionary. God is birthing in me deeper love for Him along the way. I'm seeing that God doesn't need me to go to Africa..He wants me to go to Africa for Him. For me to join in what He's doing there. Understand that He's going to do it whether or not I go, He isn't dependent on us weak humans; But He chooses to invite us to share in his work in the nations so that we might share in his suffering and also share in his glory. Praise God.
So even though the road ahead is dark and uncharted, I see a light at the end because Christ is ' the light of my salvation and the stronghold of my life...whom shall I fear, what can men do to me!' (PSALM 27:1, paraphrased)
I will be 'Strong and Courageous..I will not dismay because the Lord my God is with me WHEREVER I go'..even the desert of Kenya, Africa. (Joshua 1:9, Paraphrased)
Abby Johnson~ (posted 8/26/09, 1:30am)
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