"Where's the ICE?" Serving when you don't get a Thank you

This Christmas was different than any previous ones. For starters I celebrated it in Kenya with my internship team instead of in Nebraska with my family. But as totally different the two places are they are somewhat similar. I’ve learned from being away from home this Christmas that Christmas isn’t all about the traditions, decorations, food or even family. Christmas is about celebrating Jesus’ birth and praising God for sending a perfect Lamb to bridge the gap between sinful fallen men and God. He brought us Immanuel (God with us) so that He could be with us for eternity. Also this place has in a way become my home and my teammates and leaders are like my family. Not only that, but I think Christmas is more so about people who aren’t followers of Christ. ‘For he came to heal the sick not those who are already well.' So even though I missed my family (A lot!) and the traditions and all the yummy food I was praising God and sharing the birth of our Savior with people who don’t know Him.

December 24th-
All of us interns gathered at the Witt’s house for a Christmas breakfast and present opening and eventually Christmas supper. During the afternoon though we prepared 90 bags of practical things for the village we were going to spend Christmas day with. We sorted out Kilograms of beans, rice, flour, sugar, and corn. It was fun working as a team knowing that we were helping people who had little to nothing.

December 25th-
The day had come! It was Christmas morning! As I rolled out of bed hardly eager to greet the day my housemate Brenna brought me a homemade mocha frappie and told me to get out of bed! I gleefully took the drink and enjoyed it and went back to sleep ignoring her last words. As I laid in bed I thought back over my past years of Christmas mornings. How the night before my older sister and I would secretly watch as Mom and Dad wrapped the stocking presents. We’d guess on what we would find the next morning and could barely sleep with all the excitement. As I got older of course it was less exciting and I would rather lay in bed and sleep than get up early to open presents. But there was still always the excitement the fun in cooking, preparing the house and being with family. I loved waking up to the first blanket of snow and going to candle light services at church. All of these memories were coming back to me and I knew as I finally got out of bed that this day was nothing like those. Instead of a Christmas sweater or Christmas PJ’s, I put on my purple dirah (typical clothing of the village we were visiting) and a head scarf.
We arrived at the village and started to chop veggies… Drew, Kelly and I cut tomatoes, green peppers and onions.. lots and lots of them. Some of the Mama’s and the younger curious boys helped us too. We enjoyed a delicious meal of Pilau (Rice and goat meat with potatoes, tomatoes, green peppers and onions for flavor and pilau spice) and kachumbari (Onions, tomatoes, green peppers).
Throughout the day we arranged games like, bean bag toss, gunny sack race and tug of war for the kids to play. It was fun to watch them laughing and enjoying some new and very different games.
By the end of the day God had brought to my memory a story that Jason had told us at Bible study illustrating when Jesus told Peter to feed his sheep in John 21. He didn’t say feed my sheep who are thankful, or who are nice to you or who like you. He just asked do you love me? Then feed my sheep. God was showing me what real serving looks like. It’s not about what I get in return or how good I feel about myself. It’s about the people I’m serving. It’s not my responsibility to make them grateful either, God is concerned about my heart as the giver and server.
So this Christmas we did something different we took what God has given us and brought it to the people. Instead of receiving gifts we gave and were able to bless many people. Through this I know that I was blessed as well, it was fun to spend time in the bush with the villagers and to eat and spend the day together.

Tears...

As I sat there looking with pity at this young mother who tried in vain to feed her child, I wished I could do something to help. I watched as tears rain down her face as she winced in pain as the nurse touched her tender breast.
I was at the Hospital all morning and had just finished bathing a 2 ½ lb preemie baby and was now sitting by this new mother as she tried to nurse her small baby girl. She had been here for 10 days and was still in so much pain from the C-section and having engorged breasts. Plus the baby was not increasing in weight and wasn’t eating well. I worried for both child and mother and prayed that they would soon recover and grow. What touched me most about this scene was the father. He was an older Muslim man from one of the villages he was rather skinny as most here are but with a face filled with concern and love. This was his second wife and his 11th child. But everyday he came to look after his baby girl and fed her milk through a syringe. I was surprised by his consistency and gentle care, it's rare here.
As the mother, his wife started to cry in pain, I looked at him and saw a single tear slide from his brown eyes onto his sun weathered cheeks. I couldn’t help but stare in wonder at this scene of love. Most men are not interested in their children or wives to this extent and I have never seen this specific tribe show such tender care. It was as if God was showing me that these people had love in them, no matter their appearance or hard exterior they are lovable because God made them and Christ died for them...they just didn't know it yet.

"Let the Little Children Come Unto Me"

Because I want to someday after Kenya become a midwife I have been volunteering at the General hospital in town. This is sadly the best hospital in the region and most people don’t want to go there because the conditions are not exactly top quality. When I told some of my friends in Kenya that I was going to be volunteering at the Hospital they were a little shocked. One Mama said it was to dirty for me and that she didn’t think I would be able to stomach what happens there. Many others were surprised and wondered what I could possible be doing there.
What I want to do there is learn about medicine and learn about babies, delivery and show the love of Christ. I want to be a servant to all and to be a light in the darkness. I want to go where most people don’t want to and work among people most people don’t want to touch.
So I have been going twice or three times a week in the morning to the NBU of the hospital. I have helped mothers nurse their preemie babies. I have washed and fed preemie babies some as small as 2 and ½ pounds. I like to hold them as much as possible and when I’m alone I sing songs to them and pray for them. I have loved building relationships with the mothers and practice the language with them. I was actually able to witness 2 births! It was once again fascinating and I was so grateful for the experience.
I also like to go to the pediatric ward and talk with the kids and mothers of sick babies and children with burns. Some of them are so sick and just need cheering up and the moms are so bored and they need company. I get to know them a little bit and introduce myself and then ask if I can pray for them. Most welcome it with gratitude but some refuse. I have made some very good friends by visiting there and have seen many heart breaking situations. How I wish I could help them all.

Striving for SOMETHING more

What is it that keeps us going? What drives humanity on? Why do we keep going day after mundane day? Is it something innate in us something that we cannot stop that is pushing us forward without any force applied. Or is it something more, is it something that was put in us by God? A striving to live and be and flourish. A curiosity to know why we were put on this earth, by whom and for what purpose we were created for. Why do people search for answers, why do we question, why don’t we just continue with our lives not knowing the absolute truth about life…what makes us wonder?
You know so many things in this life are pointless and meaningless. Day by day things get more complex and yet more simple and idiotic. Yet in the nonsense and the regular there is something beautiful, meaningful and even full of purpose.

What are you searching for? What do YOU seek? What will completely satisfy you? What will satisfy your hearts desire your thirst for more and your need to be complete and to be known by someone or something. Does It feels like there is something inside of you that will never be satisfied or subdued.. it is striving for something. BUT WHAT? We are searching, seeking, urning and hoping that there is something more than this life. That there is a reason for all of this, we want to believe in beauty in purity and love. BUT HOW?
Is this all just a pointless game we’re all playing is there really any point in living? Does what we do in the day matter, the people we talk to the words we say the actions and deeds we do? Does it even matter…does Anyone see? Does anyone care?

“Vanity of vanities, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does a man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the stream flow there they flow again. All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing nor the ear filled with hearing. What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.”

As I continue living here in Kenya and continue to see the poor and the needy among me I ask myself these questions. I wonder at the people’s tenacity and perserverance to continue living. Life is not very hard for us here but for the Kenyans and Somalis it is hard. For the poorest of poor, who scrape a living from selling wood or coal just to eat flour and water and maybe some beans, it is hard. Today I passed a man lying asleep in the ditch, covered from head to toe with month old, brown, African dirt. He looked hopeless, lifeless, my friend and I wondered if he was dead or alive. What is this mans story, how did he end up like this?
What are they living for? What are WE living for? What are YOU living for?

We were all put on this earth by God our creator to live and produce and take care of the earth. But is that all, are we just simply here to eat, sleep, have children and work?

From the beginning of time we see that Man was created to be with God. All throughout the Bible we see God pursuing man and man hiding or running away from God, in some cases man pursues God.
I am convinced that we were created for more than this earth and it’s empty promises and broken dreams. I am convinced that we were created for something more something better…something unimaginable and perfect. We were created for eternity, eternity with our Creator. Therefore we are all striving for something more and trying to fill our lives up with anything that can satisfy but little do people know that nothing but relationship with God and God’s love can satisfy the emptiness that is inside of us. No matter how hard we try we will fail every time. Only God can satisfy. He is our hope the consuming fire and purpose of living. But until Christ comes back and puts all things right again we will continue to strive and seek and we will all continue living our lives and unknowingly we will hope and wait for the DESIRE of our HEARTS to come.

“But according to his promises we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.” 2 Peter 3:9

“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and hey will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more. Neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he who was seated on the throne said, “ Behold I am making all things new.”
“ It is done! I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur,” Revelation 21: 3-8

"Baa Baa Black Sheep"

"Baa Baa Black Sheep have you any fear, no Sir no Sir the Lord is near." This is one of the many chorus' that the children sing at the primary school that Jessica and I had the joy of being at the past 2 weeks. There are 25 students from all different tribes ranging from ages 4-7. There is only one teacher and she is actually a missionary from central Kenya.
They were so excited to have us there and loved to stare at us and touch us especially our hair. It’s common around here that we will be the first white person they have ever seen or touched. Also they have been told things like white people eat children or that we’re ghosts or even demons. So some babies in the bush or villages scream and hide behind their moms when we come by. However the kids at this school were not scared of us and warmed up really fast. It was rather overwhelming to have 20 some kids charge you and want to climb all over you. Kids were getting hurt because the were so excited and it'd start a stampede or a mosh pit! The second day there we were asked to draw wild and domestic animals for the kids art project. This stretched me in my “skills” and made Jess and I laugh a lot because of the ridiculous things my hand and brain were coming up with. One little four year old upon seeing my “cow” burst out laughing and could hardly breath! God knows I’m not an artist! But I tried and did get better, anyway the kids enjoyed it and luckily they’ve never seen what a real pig or horse looks like.
Everyday the teacher would separate the older and more advance students and send them with me to do harder homework/lessons. I would help them do math, English and writing. It was so hard and most days I didn’t know if I’d make it. You’d think 5 and 6 year old would be no problem. But try telling kids who don’t speak very good English what to do. They are precious kids but they did not like to listen to me most of the time. Working with them stretched my patience and creativity on how to help them and keep them engaged. I enjoyed teaching them letters and helping them write and add and subtract. The kids here are so smart and they know a lot for their age. They also can sit for longer periods of time and not get overly restless. But they’re still 100% kids and enjoy being mischievous and disobedient and pushing me to the edge! But through it all we got to see into the lives of these kids and hear their stories. Most of the kids are from very very poor families and the lunch served at school would be their only solid meal for the day. Some of the kids only had one parent some were pretty much on their own. Their uniforms were torn their legs and feet were dirty and old cuts were dirty and infected. But regardless of all of that their spirit was still innocent and sweet. They love singing songs and being kids and dancing and laughing. They loved sitting on our laps and being hugged and just to be enjoyed. I wouldn’t have traded any of the hard times and frustrating times it was worth it when I saw them smile and heard them laugh. One day it started raining so I ran outside with a couple of them and we danced and spun around in the rain, it was awesome.
It hurts to see little kids their age expected to do so much and to be so much. They aren’t allowed to be just kids at home so it’s nice to see them singing and laughing at school and expressing their childishness. They’re all so precious and seeking love and attention, I’m glad for this week that I was able to spend time with them and love them and play with them. They’ll always be in my heart and hopefully I’ll visit them every once and a while, I don’t think they’ll forget about us either.

Having Joy in the Midst of Pain...

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep on the pen and no cattle in the stalls yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord. Is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s he makes me tread on my high places.”
Habakkuk 3:17-19

The Lord has been teaching me how to have joy in the midst of trials and struggles. How when everything around you seems bleak and you have a hard time making it thorugh the day , to give praise to God . We need to do this because even though… “Situations change for better and for worse, God’s worth never changes.” (from the book “The Unquenchable worshippr .” by Matt Redman) Right now in my life I’m struggling to be here in Kenya. Especaily right now because my best friend is getting married this weekend. As the time gets closer it’s harder and harder to be here engaging in the culture and people while missing the biggest day of my friend. I have a hard time not being bitter and upset at the circumstances or even at God who brought me here at this time. But it doesn’t help anyone especially me to be bitter or angry. I know God brought me here for a purpose and that the harder it is usually means theres a pretty big lesson to learn or purpose to accomplish. So during this time when I feel like my heart is breaking and I’m hating my current situation… I will rejoice in this time even though I don’t understand and it hurts . I will trust and say that the Lord is good. “We may be hard-pressed on every side, weary and not able to sense God. But then a choice faces us—to fix our eyes on the circumstances or to cling to God and choose to worship Him, even when it hurts. (Matt Redman) I want to be able to say at the end that “I rejoiced in the Lord and I took joy in the God of my salvation, that God was my constant strength.”

“The heart of God loves the offering of a persevering worshipper. Though overwhelmed by many troubles, they are even more overwhelmed with the beauty of God.” (Matt Redman)

What would you give?

So today I’ve been hit with the question.. What would you give up for God?
You know my whole life God has blessed me with a Christian family with Christian friends and with a godly upbringing. I’ve not had to struggle through life, I don’t know what it’s like to go without food or live in a tent or even a Mobil home. I have been richly blessed…I have become used to having almost anything I wanted. Coming to Africa the Lord has shown me my selfishness in more ways than one. (I am not pointing the finger at anyone, this blog is my thoughts and what the Lord is teaching me please don’t think I am judging America, Africa or you who are reading this right now.)
I have seen how much I have and how little others have and yet …I want more. But it’s more than just a matter of material possessions. That is not the point of this blog entry and not the answer to my question. What I mean by this is, what would I give up? I obviously, to some people’s opinions would be said to have given up much. For I have left my family, my home and all that I knew for what..The Lord’s calling? The poor of Africa? The orphaned children of Kenya? For what? To ‘suffer’ in the desert.. ‘Yes truly I must have given up much for my Lord.’ But really, what have I given up? Am I truly dying to my own desires and taking up the Cross of Christ? Or have I been an actress performing before an audience of believers. I don’t know…perhaps I’m sure that I’ve given enough.

-But O My Beloved… how much more would you give up for ME?

Well, you see… I really, really love my new Mac computer, it’s pretty, it works amazing and I use it all the time and don’t you realize I bought it with my own hard earned cash!
“Would you give it up?”
I also really enjoy and love my clothes and my makeup and all my stuff that I dragged along with me from America…
“Would you give it ALL up?”
I love my family so much, almost more than I love myself…
“Would you give them to Me Abby?
I really like my certain foods and drinks and man I just couldn’t give them up, how would I live without my particular food?
“Would you give it ALL up?”
(Now, I don’t know if the Lord really is asking me to give up all these things and I don’t think you need to worry that my next blog will be on how to survive on the streets of Kenya with only a matchstick. I won’t be that drastic or illogical.)
--But Lord, I love my life… I don’t really want to suffer and be persecuted can I just live my life and get married and live normally in America with a good job and maybe some kids. I’ll raise them up to love you Lord, really I will. I’ll even go to church on Sunday and oh, I’ll even pray in the morning and even, yes get this ,I’ll even read my Bible before I go to church. If …oh well if that is I’m not too busy, you know Lord I’m sorry it’s so busy I might have to skip on the Bible reading. But you won’t mind because you looovee me!---
“ And whoever does not take us his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
(Matt. 10:38-39)
Hmm so what you’re saying is… I have to give my life. Ouch Lord that hurts….
“I was wounded, I was crushed, I was oppressed and afflicted (Isaiah 53) … I gave My Life for you. Because I Love you with an everlasting love. ‘You are precious in my eyes and I love you.’ (Isaiah 43:4)
Christ gave it ALL humbly, sacrificially and completely. Christ gave His Life.
What will I give?... Will I give my life? Will I die for Christ? Will I take up my cross and follow Him to the end, whatever that may be? Keeping my eyes fixed on the prize that will be eternal that will be better and more majestic and more wonderful than my mind can ever imagine?
Will I ‘waste’ my life for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Will I be tested and tried; with no regrets… oh Lord may I be found at your feet.
---I will leave it all behind, I’ll have no other beside you God, I will cling to you alone. For I am in love with you…yes I am in love with you. There is no cost, there is no loss… for I am in love with You my Daddy Father!

(P.s. Sorry that all my post are on the same day. I wrote them all on different days but can only go to the Internet spot once in awhile. Usually it is once a week so I try to get everything written up before going.)

Bwana Sifiwe!

Isn’t the Lord good!! Wow. He takes my breath away and showers me with unexpected blessings in this dry and weary land.
Coming back to North Eastern after being gone for 10 days in Western Kenya has been anything but easy for me. I struggled with being happy with being back and prayed and trusted that God would give me extra grace to get through the readjusting once again. He graciously answered my cry. My first day back has been such a wonderful day overflowing with the beauties and mysteries of God that I hardly know what to think. Whether it was in the glorious sunset or the blessing of a downpour of rain or the three rainbows I saw in one night or maybe being able to speak with my family. The Lord was showing His love for me and reminding me that His presence is with me in this place. Yes, even in North East Kenya the Lord speaks and moves.
At our Bible study this morning the Lord encouraged me through my teammates and gave us a passage of scripture that spoke of God’s sovereignty and how He knows everything about us. One verse that spoke to me is
“Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to Heaven, you are there!” (Psalm 139:7) It reminded me that no matter where I go the Lord is there. I cannot go beyond His reach! He is here with me and sees me when I stand, sit, sleep and eat. He hears me when I cry out to Him. It put such a peace in my heart knowing that being in this dry, lonely, desert the Lord is here and He’s holding my hand through it all. I just have to trust that He knows what He’s doing and He’s guiding and directing my path. The Lord has not left me.
I love the Lord for this, I am so thankful that I do not serve a fake, powerless, lifeless man-made idol but rather a breathing, living and very powerful God. A God that knows me completely and utterly before I even existed. He sees all and knows all and loves more passionately and deeply than I could ever imagine.
“My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.” That’s my God! As I open myself up to Him and seek His face and yearn for more of Him He’s gently, lovingly, and patiently showing me more about His characteristics and His love for me.
Bwana Asifiwe! (Praise the Lord in Swahili)

Extra Garnish- NO Charge! The Many Adventures of Western Kenya

So I’m still living in Kenya Africa in case you wondered and everyday is a new thing and everyday the Lord shows me something more about Him. This past week my team and I traveled to Western Kenya to the city of Bungoma. It was wonderful to see grass again and flowers and to not be constantly sweaty, but to actually feel a cool breeze! The best part, because this area was very Christianized and did not have Somalian Muslims, us girls were allowed to wear jeans outdoors and even shorts inside the compound!!! It was marvelous and I never knew such a small thing could make me so happy!
WHY’D WE GO THERE???
The purpose for this trip was to take a class. So I along with 15 other Bethany International Students were scheduled to talk Church Development at the Christian Life Teachings College in Bungoma, a Christianized town. We were taught by Kenyans and by a on the ground and founder of the college missionary from Montana. We mostly learned about leadership and godly ways to execute leadership over people and a church. It was a good class and the Lord stretched me.
While here we experienced many fun and growing things. I’ll just highlight a couple things. One of the most rewarding parts of the trip was being able to play with the kids. They loved to come to our gate every afternoon and watch us either play volleyball or mess around. We would invite them to play and we’d play tag or soccer. This one little 3 year old girl named Judy stole my heart. One day while the other children were playing soccer with Nate (one of my teammates) I sat with the little little kids and held Judy on my lap. I rocked her to sleep and she feel so deep asleep that when it was time to wake her I couldn’t! She was so out of it that I just passed her off to her mom. Once I had let her go I realized that my jeans were unusually wet! Little Judy had left me a present in her sleep…she was so worth it.
SQUATTY POTTIES AND BUCKET BATHS!
So at this college they don’t have any running water..no big deal right. Well count how many times a day you use water from your faucet or how many gallons of water you use and tell me if it’s not a big deal. ☺ It’s sort of like camping but maybe a little rougher… well at least in Nebraska we had completely working bathrooms at camp sites. The huge blessing though at this college was that the water was clean and from a pump. So we didn’t have to filter we just just pump and go. But the bathrooms were anything but modern. Lets just say I got really good by the end of the 10 days at squatting and aiming and taking a “bath” with no wash cloth and a bucket of water in the dark at 6:30 in the morning.
WHAT’S FOR LUNCH?
So one afternoon I along with 2 other girls and 1 other guy went out to eat at the Red Hat restaurant. We had previously eaten at this restaurant and knew that the food was good. We all ordered a burger with fries (which they call chips here). Well my food didn’t come until all the others were done with it. When it finally did come my hunger pains were growing and I was eagerly licking my lips in anticipation for my juicy burger and greasy fries. The waiter seemed to walk in slow motion as my plate came closer and closer ever so slowly. When it was placed on the table my eyes saw something that did not quite seem to fit amongst the burger and fries. What was that? No, nope I’m not going to believe that that is really on my pile of fries…. I took another look and sure enough I found myself staring in to the green eyes of a deceased, deep fat fried, bright green, grasshopper! To the surprise of my friends, I made an exclamation and quickly pushed the plate away from me in horror. After many laughs and shocked expressions I decided against eating my ‘African garnish’ and we quickly left.

My favorite part of going to town was being able to ride the sweet bikes. I loved just perching on the back and getting a ride home. It was easy to do but super hard in a skirt!

Today we joined some boarding children in going to the hospital. The time with the kids was great. They were wonderful to talk to and loved to sing. On the way to the hospital they all sang on the bus. The people along the streets all would stop and stare at the bus caring singing children and wazongos. The whole morning I had two girls holding my hands..Mercy and Grace. Interesting that the things I pray that the Lord would grant me and what He so willingly and abundantly bestows…were holding my hands as I walked through the gates to the hospital. What my eyes took in was the reality of a fallen world. A world of pain and sickness… death. At home I would hear of stories and see pictures of malnourished babies and children who looked like they were newborn babies but really were 3 or 4 years old. Stories impersonal and distant that’s what they were. I thought I had compassion I thought I felt misery for those suffering people, but then I came to Kenya, I walked into that hospital and I saw what those stories had failed to relay. Helplessness, truth and agony. I along with 8 other children and Nate went into this room where there where six beds of babies and their nurses mothers or relatives. One woman per child taking care of them. Each child was sick, some had yellow eyes all had sad looks and painful stares. Most were no bigger than a 6 month old, one little boy was the size of a 6 year old. I don’t know what his real age was. I immediately went over to a bed and began talking to one of the babies, it just lay there in pain. I went over to the next bed and held a little baby in a yellow shirt named “Grace” this baby was adorable with chocolate eyes and soft skin. But it was sick with phenomena and malaria. The next baby was Benjamin, the little girls from Life held him and loved on him. It was so good to see children loving other children. The mothers appreciated it. Because I don’t speak Swahili or Kidogo Kiswahili the other Children translated for me. The baby that held my attention the most and captured my heart was a orphan. It was just lying on the bed motionless, looking lifeless. Barely bigger than a newborn…so frail and helpless. I assumed it was very young. But when I asked how old the answer sent my system and heart into a shock. This baby wasn’t a newborn but rather 2 years old. It was so frail, breathing heavily with it’s eyes rolled back. It’s little hand was so tiny little bigger than my thumb. I sat on the edge of the bed in shock and despair. I stroked the baby's head praying away the sickness, begging God to heal this baby, wishing that there was something I could do. Tears filled my eyes as I looked around at all the babies and helpless to do anything, knowing that they would all be dead soon. Something so simple so easy to cure ends in death. Sickness…what an enemy. I sat in that room and stroked the orphans head and could almost feel the pain and sorrow the Lord feels for these little babies. These precious babies that have been diseased and stricken with pain. He holds them all, He loves them all. As I sat with the children and prayed over them I thought of my nieces and nephews and if they were lying lifeless on this bed, if they looked at me with these painful eyes. I could not bear it.
The things I saw today I pray will always be with me and I pray hat God will use me in some way to help to save these babies. There must be something that I can do. Lord Jesus these are your children, receive them Lord.

T.I.A- "This Is Africa"

So I'm in Kenya Africa...yes that's right. Wow it's crazy to think! But I've been here since the 17th of this month.
I don't think I could have prepared for what I was going into. But God prepared me. I have come up against many various things in these first 2 weeks that if I would have known about them beforehand...I would have said "no thank you!" But the 'Lord's strength is made perfect in my weakness,' and boy have I come face to face with my weaknesses.
For example... The first night in Kenya was in Nairobi (the capitol). We were staying at a safe house and getting ready for bed. Now mind you we've been on a plane since 3 in the afternoon the previous day with no shower or anything. I was worn out and feeling gross. It was hot and we were all tired and jet-legged like nobodies business. Well I went to take a shower and...no water! The faucet didn't even have proper handles. So my first night and many have followed where I have had no water... or I take a bucket bath. Before coming here I had never really taken a cold shower but here that's about all there is.. which is just amazing!
The lifestyle of people here and the living conditions are so completely and utterly different than back home. I truly have and am living in a different and other side of the world. Yet even though all the surroundings around me have changed and the people I'm with are not my family or friends from home. I know and am completely confident that God has not changed. That no matter how far away I am or how lonely or what I go through. God is there, He's watching, loving and protecting me. I think that knowing that and believing that and holding onto that has keep me from completely losing it here. I have not had any crazy moments of homesickness or emotional breakdowns. I know that they will most likely come but I try to keep my eyes heavenward and everything else makes sense.
Thank you all for your prayers--- remember my team and I and that we are in enemy territory.
(Me cleaning a butcherd chicken...yes that's right)