"Where's the ICE?" Serving when you don't get a Thank you

This Christmas was different than any previous ones. For starters I celebrated it in Kenya with my internship team instead of in Nebraska with my family. But as totally different the two places are they are somewhat similar. I’ve learned from being away from home this Christmas that Christmas isn’t all about the traditions, decorations, food or even family. Christmas is about celebrating Jesus’ birth and praising God for sending a perfect Lamb to bridge the gap between sinful fallen men and God. He brought us Immanuel (God with us) so that He could be with us for eternity. Also this place has in a way become my home and my teammates and leaders are like my family. Not only that, but I think Christmas is more so about people who aren’t followers of Christ. ‘For he came to heal the sick not those who are already well.' So even though I missed my family (A lot!) and the traditions and all the yummy food I was praising God and sharing the birth of our Savior with people who don’t know Him.

December 24th-
All of us interns gathered at the Witt’s house for a Christmas breakfast and present opening and eventually Christmas supper. During the afternoon though we prepared 90 bags of practical things for the village we were going to spend Christmas day with. We sorted out Kilograms of beans, rice, flour, sugar, and corn. It was fun working as a team knowing that we were helping people who had little to nothing.

December 25th-
The day had come! It was Christmas morning! As I rolled out of bed hardly eager to greet the day my housemate Brenna brought me a homemade mocha frappie and told me to get out of bed! I gleefully took the drink and enjoyed it and went back to sleep ignoring her last words. As I laid in bed I thought back over my past years of Christmas mornings. How the night before my older sister and I would secretly watch as Mom and Dad wrapped the stocking presents. We’d guess on what we would find the next morning and could barely sleep with all the excitement. As I got older of course it was less exciting and I would rather lay in bed and sleep than get up early to open presents. But there was still always the excitement the fun in cooking, preparing the house and being with family. I loved waking up to the first blanket of snow and going to candle light services at church. All of these memories were coming back to me and I knew as I finally got out of bed that this day was nothing like those. Instead of a Christmas sweater or Christmas PJ’s, I put on my purple dirah (typical clothing of the village we were visiting) and a head scarf.
We arrived at the village and started to chop veggies… Drew, Kelly and I cut tomatoes, green peppers and onions.. lots and lots of them. Some of the Mama’s and the younger curious boys helped us too. We enjoyed a delicious meal of Pilau (Rice and goat meat with potatoes, tomatoes, green peppers and onions for flavor and pilau spice) and kachumbari (Onions, tomatoes, green peppers).
Throughout the day we arranged games like, bean bag toss, gunny sack race and tug of war for the kids to play. It was fun to watch them laughing and enjoying some new and very different games.
By the end of the day God had brought to my memory a story that Jason had told us at Bible study illustrating when Jesus told Peter to feed his sheep in John 21. He didn’t say feed my sheep who are thankful, or who are nice to you or who like you. He just asked do you love me? Then feed my sheep. God was showing me what real serving looks like. It’s not about what I get in return or how good I feel about myself. It’s about the people I’m serving. It’s not my responsibility to make them grateful either, God is concerned about my heart as the giver and server.
So this Christmas we did something different we took what God has given us and brought it to the people. Instead of receiving gifts we gave and were able to bless many people. Through this I know that I was blessed as well, it was fun to spend time in the bush with the villagers and to eat and spend the day together.

Tears...

As I sat there looking with pity at this young mother who tried in vain to feed her child, I wished I could do something to help. I watched as tears rain down her face as she winced in pain as the nurse touched her tender breast.
I was at the Hospital all morning and had just finished bathing a 2 ½ lb preemie baby and was now sitting by this new mother as she tried to nurse her small baby girl. She had been here for 10 days and was still in so much pain from the C-section and having engorged breasts. Plus the baby was not increasing in weight and wasn’t eating well. I worried for both child and mother and prayed that they would soon recover and grow. What touched me most about this scene was the father. He was an older Muslim man from one of the villages he was rather skinny as most here are but with a face filled with concern and love. This was his second wife and his 11th child. But everyday he came to look after his baby girl and fed her milk through a syringe. I was surprised by his consistency and gentle care, it's rare here.
As the mother, his wife started to cry in pain, I looked at him and saw a single tear slide from his brown eyes onto his sun weathered cheeks. I couldn’t help but stare in wonder at this scene of love. Most men are not interested in their children or wives to this extent and I have never seen this specific tribe show such tender care. It was as if God was showing me that these people had love in them, no matter their appearance or hard exterior they are lovable because God made them and Christ died for them...they just didn't know it yet.

"Let the Little Children Come Unto Me"

Because I want to someday after Kenya become a midwife I have been volunteering at the General hospital in town. This is sadly the best hospital in the region and most people don’t want to go there because the conditions are not exactly top quality. When I told some of my friends in Kenya that I was going to be volunteering at the Hospital they were a little shocked. One Mama said it was to dirty for me and that she didn’t think I would be able to stomach what happens there. Many others were surprised and wondered what I could possible be doing there.
What I want to do there is learn about medicine and learn about babies, delivery and show the love of Christ. I want to be a servant to all and to be a light in the darkness. I want to go where most people don’t want to and work among people most people don’t want to touch.
So I have been going twice or three times a week in the morning to the NBU of the hospital. I have helped mothers nurse their preemie babies. I have washed and fed preemie babies some as small as 2 and ½ pounds. I like to hold them as much as possible and when I’m alone I sing songs to them and pray for them. I have loved building relationships with the mothers and practice the language with them. I was actually able to witness 2 births! It was once again fascinating and I was so grateful for the experience.
I also like to go to the pediatric ward and talk with the kids and mothers of sick babies and children with burns. Some of them are so sick and just need cheering up and the moms are so bored and they need company. I get to know them a little bit and introduce myself and then ask if I can pray for them. Most welcome it with gratitude but some refuse. I have made some very good friends by visiting there and have seen many heart breaking situations. How I wish I could help them all.

Striving for SOMETHING more

What is it that keeps us going? What drives humanity on? Why do we keep going day after mundane day? Is it something innate in us something that we cannot stop that is pushing us forward without any force applied. Or is it something more, is it something that was put in us by God? A striving to live and be and flourish. A curiosity to know why we were put on this earth, by whom and for what purpose we were created for. Why do people search for answers, why do we question, why don’t we just continue with our lives not knowing the absolute truth about life…what makes us wonder?
You know so many things in this life are pointless and meaningless. Day by day things get more complex and yet more simple and idiotic. Yet in the nonsense and the regular there is something beautiful, meaningful and even full of purpose.

What are you searching for? What do YOU seek? What will completely satisfy you? What will satisfy your hearts desire your thirst for more and your need to be complete and to be known by someone or something. Does It feels like there is something inside of you that will never be satisfied or subdued.. it is striving for something. BUT WHAT? We are searching, seeking, urning and hoping that there is something more than this life. That there is a reason for all of this, we want to believe in beauty in purity and love. BUT HOW?
Is this all just a pointless game we’re all playing is there really any point in living? Does what we do in the day matter, the people we talk to the words we say the actions and deeds we do? Does it even matter…does Anyone see? Does anyone care?

“Vanity of vanities, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does a man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the stream flow there they flow again. All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing nor the ear filled with hearing. What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.”

As I continue living here in Kenya and continue to see the poor and the needy among me I ask myself these questions. I wonder at the people’s tenacity and perserverance to continue living. Life is not very hard for us here but for the Kenyans and Somalis it is hard. For the poorest of poor, who scrape a living from selling wood or coal just to eat flour and water and maybe some beans, it is hard. Today I passed a man lying asleep in the ditch, covered from head to toe with month old, brown, African dirt. He looked hopeless, lifeless, my friend and I wondered if he was dead or alive. What is this mans story, how did he end up like this?
What are they living for? What are WE living for? What are YOU living for?

We were all put on this earth by God our creator to live and produce and take care of the earth. But is that all, are we just simply here to eat, sleep, have children and work?

From the beginning of time we see that Man was created to be with God. All throughout the Bible we see God pursuing man and man hiding or running away from God, in some cases man pursues God.
I am convinced that we were created for more than this earth and it’s empty promises and broken dreams. I am convinced that we were created for something more something better…something unimaginable and perfect. We were created for eternity, eternity with our Creator. Therefore we are all striving for something more and trying to fill our lives up with anything that can satisfy but little do people know that nothing but relationship with God and God’s love can satisfy the emptiness that is inside of us. No matter how hard we try we will fail every time. Only God can satisfy. He is our hope the consuming fire and purpose of living. But until Christ comes back and puts all things right again we will continue to strive and seek and we will all continue living our lives and unknowingly we will hope and wait for the DESIRE of our HEARTS to come.

“But according to his promises we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.” 2 Peter 3:9

“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and hey will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more. Neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he who was seated on the throne said, “ Behold I am making all things new.”
“ It is done! I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur,” Revelation 21: 3-8

"Baa Baa Black Sheep"

"Baa Baa Black Sheep have you any fear, no Sir no Sir the Lord is near." This is one of the many chorus' that the children sing at the primary school that Jessica and I had the joy of being at the past 2 weeks. There are 25 students from all different tribes ranging from ages 4-7. There is only one teacher and she is actually a missionary from central Kenya.
They were so excited to have us there and loved to stare at us and touch us especially our hair. It’s common around here that we will be the first white person they have ever seen or touched. Also they have been told things like white people eat children or that we’re ghosts or even demons. So some babies in the bush or villages scream and hide behind their moms when we come by. However the kids at this school were not scared of us and warmed up really fast. It was rather overwhelming to have 20 some kids charge you and want to climb all over you. Kids were getting hurt because the were so excited and it'd start a stampede or a mosh pit! The second day there we were asked to draw wild and domestic animals for the kids art project. This stretched me in my “skills” and made Jess and I laugh a lot because of the ridiculous things my hand and brain were coming up with. One little four year old upon seeing my “cow” burst out laughing and could hardly breath! God knows I’m not an artist! But I tried and did get better, anyway the kids enjoyed it and luckily they’ve never seen what a real pig or horse looks like.
Everyday the teacher would separate the older and more advance students and send them with me to do harder homework/lessons. I would help them do math, English and writing. It was so hard and most days I didn’t know if I’d make it. You’d think 5 and 6 year old would be no problem. But try telling kids who don’t speak very good English what to do. They are precious kids but they did not like to listen to me most of the time. Working with them stretched my patience and creativity on how to help them and keep them engaged. I enjoyed teaching them letters and helping them write and add and subtract. The kids here are so smart and they know a lot for their age. They also can sit for longer periods of time and not get overly restless. But they’re still 100% kids and enjoy being mischievous and disobedient and pushing me to the edge! But through it all we got to see into the lives of these kids and hear their stories. Most of the kids are from very very poor families and the lunch served at school would be their only solid meal for the day. Some of the kids only had one parent some were pretty much on their own. Their uniforms were torn their legs and feet were dirty and old cuts were dirty and infected. But regardless of all of that their spirit was still innocent and sweet. They love singing songs and being kids and dancing and laughing. They loved sitting on our laps and being hugged and just to be enjoyed. I wouldn’t have traded any of the hard times and frustrating times it was worth it when I saw them smile and heard them laugh. One day it started raining so I ran outside with a couple of them and we danced and spun around in the rain, it was awesome.
It hurts to see little kids their age expected to do so much and to be so much. They aren’t allowed to be just kids at home so it’s nice to see them singing and laughing at school and expressing their childishness. They’re all so precious and seeking love and attention, I’m glad for this week that I was able to spend time with them and love them and play with them. They’ll always be in my heart and hopefully I’ll visit them every once and a while, I don’t think they’ll forget about us either.

Having Joy in the Midst of Pain...

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep on the pen and no cattle in the stalls yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord. Is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s he makes me tread on my high places.”
Habakkuk 3:17-19

The Lord has been teaching me how to have joy in the midst of trials and struggles. How when everything around you seems bleak and you have a hard time making it thorugh the day , to give praise to God . We need to do this because even though… “Situations change for better and for worse, God’s worth never changes.” (from the book “The Unquenchable worshippr .” by Matt Redman) Right now in my life I’m struggling to be here in Kenya. Especaily right now because my best friend is getting married this weekend. As the time gets closer it’s harder and harder to be here engaging in the culture and people while missing the biggest day of my friend. I have a hard time not being bitter and upset at the circumstances or even at God who brought me here at this time. But it doesn’t help anyone especially me to be bitter or angry. I know God brought me here for a purpose and that the harder it is usually means theres a pretty big lesson to learn or purpose to accomplish. So during this time when I feel like my heart is breaking and I’m hating my current situation… I will rejoice in this time even though I don’t understand and it hurts . I will trust and say that the Lord is good. “We may be hard-pressed on every side, weary and not able to sense God. But then a choice faces us—to fix our eyes on the circumstances or to cling to God and choose to worship Him, even when it hurts. (Matt Redman) I want to be able to say at the end that “I rejoiced in the Lord and I took joy in the God of my salvation, that God was my constant strength.”

“The heart of God loves the offering of a persevering worshipper. Though overwhelmed by many troubles, they are even more overwhelmed with the beauty of God.” (Matt Redman)

What would you give?

So today I’ve been hit with the question.. What would you give up for God?
You know my whole life God has blessed me with a Christian family with Christian friends and with a godly upbringing. I’ve not had to struggle through life, I don’t know what it’s like to go without food or live in a tent or even a Mobil home. I have been richly blessed…I have become used to having almost anything I wanted. Coming to Africa the Lord has shown me my selfishness in more ways than one. (I am not pointing the finger at anyone, this blog is my thoughts and what the Lord is teaching me please don’t think I am judging America, Africa or you who are reading this right now.)
I have seen how much I have and how little others have and yet …I want more. But it’s more than just a matter of material possessions. That is not the point of this blog entry and not the answer to my question. What I mean by this is, what would I give up? I obviously, to some people’s opinions would be said to have given up much. For I have left my family, my home and all that I knew for what..The Lord’s calling? The poor of Africa? The orphaned children of Kenya? For what? To ‘suffer’ in the desert.. ‘Yes truly I must have given up much for my Lord.’ But really, what have I given up? Am I truly dying to my own desires and taking up the Cross of Christ? Or have I been an actress performing before an audience of believers. I don’t know…perhaps I’m sure that I’ve given enough.

-But O My Beloved… how much more would you give up for ME?

Well, you see… I really, really love my new Mac computer, it’s pretty, it works amazing and I use it all the time and don’t you realize I bought it with my own hard earned cash!
“Would you give it up?”
I also really enjoy and love my clothes and my makeup and all my stuff that I dragged along with me from America…
“Would you give it ALL up?”
I love my family so much, almost more than I love myself…
“Would you give them to Me Abby?
I really like my certain foods and drinks and man I just couldn’t give them up, how would I live without my particular food?
“Would you give it ALL up?”
(Now, I don’t know if the Lord really is asking me to give up all these things and I don’t think you need to worry that my next blog will be on how to survive on the streets of Kenya with only a matchstick. I won’t be that drastic or illogical.)
--But Lord, I love my life… I don’t really want to suffer and be persecuted can I just live my life and get married and live normally in America with a good job and maybe some kids. I’ll raise them up to love you Lord, really I will. I’ll even go to church on Sunday and oh, I’ll even pray in the morning and even, yes get this ,I’ll even read my Bible before I go to church. If …oh well if that is I’m not too busy, you know Lord I’m sorry it’s so busy I might have to skip on the Bible reading. But you won’t mind because you looovee me!---
“ And whoever does not take us his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
(Matt. 10:38-39)
Hmm so what you’re saying is… I have to give my life. Ouch Lord that hurts….
“I was wounded, I was crushed, I was oppressed and afflicted (Isaiah 53) … I gave My Life for you. Because I Love you with an everlasting love. ‘You are precious in my eyes and I love you.’ (Isaiah 43:4)
Christ gave it ALL humbly, sacrificially and completely. Christ gave His Life.
What will I give?... Will I give my life? Will I die for Christ? Will I take up my cross and follow Him to the end, whatever that may be? Keeping my eyes fixed on the prize that will be eternal that will be better and more majestic and more wonderful than my mind can ever imagine?
Will I ‘waste’ my life for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Will I be tested and tried; with no regrets… oh Lord may I be found at your feet.
---I will leave it all behind, I’ll have no other beside you God, I will cling to you alone. For I am in love with you…yes I am in love with you. There is no cost, there is no loss… for I am in love with You my Daddy Father!

(P.s. Sorry that all my post are on the same day. I wrote them all on different days but can only go to the Internet spot once in awhile. Usually it is once a week so I try to get everything written up before going.)